Yesterday, I found out through text that my Grandfather passed away. A few weeks previously, I had woken up to a sobbing Mom on a voicemail she had left, that my Grandmother had died.
This is the reason why I have an unusual reaction to phone calls at unruly hours of the night, no matter who I’m receiving it from. I hate that I can’t be where my family is when they need me the most. Right now, I’m out of town for work and I don’t even get to see my Dad to console him.
I have pictures that I wish I could look at right now and just cry because I miss them so much. I miss the warmest embrace that my tiny Lola would give me when she saw me, when we were able to visit. I miss my Lolo always trying to get me to sit on his lap no matter how old or heavy I got as I grew up. I miss having those quiet moments with the both of them as we sat outside in their front yard and as the sun would set and they would head inside to call it a night, they would kiss me on my forehead. Never missed a moment. I miss my Lola giving me “three smacks” as her kisses through the phone and would get so distressed when she forgot and would even call back. I miss my Lolo always trying to be the big man in my life, no matter how old and a little bit more weak than he wants to admit, and never lets me carry the grocery bags or walks on the side of the road as he doesn’t want me near the oncoming cars.
I miss you both, so much. I wish I was there to say hello one more time. I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye from such a distance. I think about you both every day. I’ll look forward to seeing you guys again. My own definition of unconditional love, my very own The Notebook.