Would I be a complete cynic if I thought that there was no such thing as “unconditional love”? I don’t want to say that our parents, the ones who gave us life and continue to bail us out of every bind, don’t have unconditional love for us but.. BUT?
I’m not bitter. Or jaded. At least not to the full extent that someone would expect.. I can’t really be expected to be jaded or bitter, really. Can I? Given one thing, as HUGE as it was, this is how I think relationships are going to be for the rest of my life. I’ve always gone with the, “Don’t expect anything because it hurts less,” mantra and so far, it’s helped my fragile emotions. But who really goes through life without having expectations right? Who? I do. I have learned the hard way that I was a fool to stray from that self-imposed saying because it hurt A HELL OF A LOT after those expectations were crushed and thrown into the sea [or the air because there really was no care to how much I would be feeling this pain].. WE ARE MOVING ON.
Back to being jaded and bitter. Am I wrong to think that no matter how much someone may love you, there will always be the need for reciprocity after doing something for “someone you love”? I’m getting ahead of myself, I’m putting quotation marks around phrases that will make me look like relationships have left me broken. I’m okay. I AM.
You must not think that no matter how genuine you do something for your S.O., you aren’t expecting a pretty surprise in the future or that they would recognize it with smiles reaching ear to ear. Okay, fine. I’ll give the few and rare the benefit of the doubt and say that sometimes you do things for the simple act of seeing your loved ones smile. But like I said, the rare AND FEW. There are and always will be those fights where someone says they feel like they’re the only ones trying and the long list of things that were bought or done begins from the other (or even worse, the “divide” is said and can no longer be taken back).
So unconditional love? Maybe not. But I’m not saying that I’m mad about the idea that this doesn’t exist. I just wish it did. Conditional love I can do. I mean who won’t do things that they don’t necessarily (insert word here that is synonymous with “don’t like”) with for those they love, right?
*** I’ll write a more cheery post. Later. Maybe.