I like to think that I’m better than the average person when it comes to interpersonal skills. I can clue into body language very quickly and I can hear and see a lot of triggers most people miss. I can also be the worst at it because I think I’m so good and that’s where the problems can happen.
So when I read this article, it actually made me think a lot about how I treat situations where someone I care about isn’t feeling too cheerful. I have to admit that this is going to take some practice and knowing my loved ones either, “I’m psychologizing (no, that’s not a word but a word that my friends and family have made up)” them or “I’m being weird.” It was helpful to have alternatives to how to ask this question in the article *link at the end* but it definitely would throw me off if someone took the time to ask me this question when I wasn’t feeling too much like myself.
I wanted to share because I personally wouldn’t mind it if someone asked me this when I was feeling a little blue. I think I would appreciate it if someone gave me the choice to choose being cheered up or I needed someone to go through my emotions with me. But I do know myself and if someone asked me that question, I would respond with confusion and a lot of hesitation. And with that, I understand how hard it might be for someone to open up especially when you’re in a state of mind when it’s difficult enough being in your own head; why would anyone want someone else in there too?
But here’s what I think we all want: Someone to listen. Someone to show that they care and that they genuinely want to be there when you aren’t feeling the best. That question shows that. And even if it’s a little weird, know that they are giving you a choice. So if you don’t want to talk then choose being cheered up. If you don’t want to be cheered up and you really don’t want to go through the emotions, this is your chance to tell them what you do want. I know anyone who is willing to ask this question means well and as much as it takes a lot of courage to answer the question honestly, it takes a lot for someone to decide that they want to know you a little better.
Some food for thought.
Hope everyone’s week is starting off wonderfully!