I love reading this book by the said author on my title because he’s a psychologist that uses economics, too. This book is amazing but weirdly enough, I can’t seem to retain enough that every time I reread it, everything seems so new again. It’s nice but at the same time, you could only imagine relearning and realizing all these things again for a psych major can come a little heavy sometimes.
Anyways, so I’m learning a lot about myself again and how much things affect me. The other day, Z was telling me how the topic of how “happiness is money” came up on one of the streams he was watching and that the streamer had made a point that he thought I would agree with; the streamer said that happiness is whatever the individual thinks they are missing or lacking in their life. Money just happens to be the most prominent thing most people want or don’t have enough of, therefore that phrase is what most people say. So, I was thrown by how much I did agree with it and I started thinking about what I would say in the blank of, “happiness is ____.” I can admit that my life was never “hard.” My parents tried their best to raise their kids with all they needed. My education was better than most. And it was never really challenging for me to find work (given that I did work hard to make sure that I was an employee that would be sought out for). And I don’t really ask for much. If I need it, I budget or save up and I get it. But when you’re still looking for something, it’s hard not to think about what it is that would fill that void. I know, nothing can ever really fill “that void” since everyone will always want something else after they have whatever it is they thought would fill it in the first place.
Recently, I’ve just felt so out of place. Not myself at all and reading this book again and hearing that perspective continues to baffle me since I always have the resources to understand it all. I guess, even with the wisdom you learn throughout your life, it still gets hard to understand where your feelings are coming from and why you’re feeling them. I am hoping that this will come easier. That even though I know that this is another thing that will pass, I’ll get through it with scars and bruises that I’ll be proud of. And that I don’t push away or selfishly think that I’d be better off alone (or that he’d be better off with someone else).
Deep thoughts on a Monday.